Is It Friday Yet?

So I'm pretty excited for this weekend. I'm mean obviously every weekend I'm super excited to not be working but this weekend is special because Neal and I are going to San Diego for a few days! 

I'm going to be doing the Rock n Roll 1/2 on Sunday!! Woohoo! I am pretty nervous though... Because of injuries and me being super lazy I have not trained nearly enough. But that is okay! Even if I have to take some walking breaks I'm perfectly fine with that :D 

I have my outfit for the race all picked out and that is what is really important, right? ;) 

Besides the half marathon, Neal and I are renting kayaks, jetski thingies, and we are bringing our beach cruisers with us! I think it is going to be an amazing time!! 

Besides getting to go to the beach I also love summertime because instead of slaving over a hot stove while cooking dinner I get to make my sweet boyfriend slave over a hot grill!! Most dinners we have found that we are BBQing. Living in Arizona I will do anything to keep the temperature in the house down so that means no turning on the oven/stove. 

Last night we grilled burgers (veggie for me organic beef for Neal), asparagus, and corn on the cob :) 

I think I just really love summertime :) 

Hello Vegan, Nice to See You Again.

I was a Vegan for quite some time a couple years ago. Physically it worked for me. However, the lack of convenience really put a damper on things. I wanted to be young, eat bar food, and have fun. Which I did. I had a blast. I also gained 30 pounds and felt like crap all the time. 

I have thankfully lost 20 of those pounds but I still don't feel as light and free as I used to. 

Hence my decision to turn back to Veganism. I don't think I will be as strict as I used to be (sugar/honey) and I'm sure once in a while when I am out with my friends I will indulge on some pizza with cheese on it. I just feel like the Vegan lifestyle is the best for me and my body :) 

Besides I get to eat yummy foods like almond butter, bananas, and waffles :D

Do you think having a Vegan diet is crazy? 

Fruit Addiction.

I'm probably going to turn in to a giant piece of fruit someday. I imagine a scene sorta like Violet in Willie Wonka. A giant blueberry. Yup.
I guess it is better than being addicted to chocolate. Oh wait. I am obsessed with chocolate too though :)
Oh well! I love fruit and I am darn proud of it!

Race Bib Artwork!

After completing a bazillion races you are bound to have a bunch of race bibs. I have been pretty good about holding on to all of mine (I sadly have lost a few... Oh well!). They were sitting there looking very sad. I felt like they were screaming at me, "Make us in to something pretty!" So that is what I attempted to do.

I went to Hobby Lobby while they were having a sale (50% of their frames! Booyah!) and snagged up the biggest frame I could find!!

This is my final product:

I think it came out pretty cool! Plus it is cheap artwork to hang up on my empty walls ;) 

Now I need to get a nice Medal Rack to hang up next to it and I will be all set!

What do you do with your old race bibs and medals? Are you a hoarder like me? :)

Lost Canyon Games 2013

I had the most amazing two days of my life. Like literally I cannot believe that I was one of the lucky 110 people that got to participate in the inaugural Lost Canyon Games in William Arizona!

The Lost Canyon Games were branched off from the Wild Canyon Games in Oregon and they are hoping to become a national race. This is truly an amazing event, especially for it being the first time it was put on here in Arizona!

The events were held at Lost Canyon Young Life Camp and it was a beautiful camp!!

 

Me and my four other team mates (Nat, Roni, Neal, and Brandon) drove up to Williams, AZ from Phoenix, AZ  on Friday. Because we are awesome we had a great ride up talking about how excited we were for Saturday's events! Team "Watch for Squatch" was ready to go!

The Games were broken up into two events. The Individual Events and The Challenge. At this years event there were 22 groups of 5. Each team consisted of a Mountain Biker (Neal), a road cyclist (Brandon), a trail runner (me), and two geaocachers (Nat and Roni). This camp was at 7000ft in elevation so let's just say it was tough!! Overall the Individual Events were awesome! There were little things that would happen for any first time race (not enough marking on the trails, volunteers weren't well informed, etc) but not anything critical. And we were in northern Arizona so the scenery was gorgeous!

We then got together in the for some grub in the Elk Horn Dining Hall. It was so nice to have a hot lunch after working so hard!

After lunch we then got changed and ready for the Challenge! It was intense. I completed The Pull (my team and I pulled a ONE TON wagon), the Ropes Course (freaking scary), The Zip Line (in to a lake!!), and The "O" Course (epic obstacles). I have never done any of these things before. I am so afraid of heights and jumping off a ledge on for the ropes course and the zip line really pushed me!

After everything was said and done we all met at this local diner in Williams called Crusiers and got some yummy grub. We were all pretty darn tired but I don't think any of us could have been happier after such an epic weekend!

 Ultimately I just want to say thank you to all of the amazing people that made this race possible and to my awesome teammates that made the events a blast!!!

Phew... Glad I Spoke Up :)

After my post "I'm Not Perfect, But Who Cares?" I received so much positive support. I finally told my family and it seriously took so much stress off of me. It is crazy what little secrets like that can do to your mental health.

I was talking to my mom today and we were talking about the "care packages" she used to send me. They were sweet and wonderful and I loved them, however, they were always stuffed to the brim with bags of candy. Those boxes terrorized me. I would be so tempted to eat a whole bag of Dove Chocolates or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in one sitting. Eventually I learned to bring them to work or school because eventually I knew I would give in and eat all of it.

Now that my mom knows that I have a problem with self control she is talking about sending me things like almond flour and coconut oil! How awesome is that?! I am tearing up thinking of how nice it is to not be hiding anything anymore.

I have been doing pretty darn good at having a balanced diet. I did splurge quite a bit on Easter but who didn't ;) I had ham, potatoes, and some amazing pork tenderloin :)

But anyways, just wanted to say thank you to everyone who cheered me up during my low point!!

Where do I buy a tutu??

I really want a tutu to wear to races... They are so darn cute!! I am not a crafty person by any means so I decided I am going to purchase one. Does anyone know a good source?? I was looking on Etsy and I found some pretty cute ones but I really want some input!!

This is my dream race outfit ;) I just love the idea of wearing a tiara too!!

I'm Not Perfect. But Who Cares?

I have never really talked to anyone about my battle with food. I think it is mostly because I don't want to admit I have a problem or that I am embarrassed. However, it has been on my mind lately and I think I need to get it off my chest. Even though I don't think many will read this (probably a good thing) I just think it would be nice to see if there is anyone in the same boat as me.

So here it goes: My name is Victoria and I am a binge eater.

It all started when I was a little girl. I was introduced to candy, fast food, processed foods, anything bad for you at a very young age. I love my mother with all of my heart but my eating problems began with her. She suffered from anorexia, I remember at a very young age she was hospitalized. I didn't know what was going on then but as I grew older I started to understand everything that was happening. All I remember is that at some points she would eat a lot or not at all.

I, however, was the opposite of my mother. Anorexia was never a problem for me. I dabbled in bulimia at a later age but that is a something entirely different. For me, my problem was what I later found out was called binging. I would try so hard to not eat and then I would gorge myself on anything I could find.

I had easy access to horrible foods. My mom would keep "the candy stash" in a cabinet somewhere easily accessible to me. We also ate out at least 5 dinners of the week. Jack in the Box was a favorite. I loved curly fries and chicken strips. On the weekends when we we to the mall See's Candy or Krispy Kreme doughnuts were always something we picked up. And don't get me started on when Girl Scout cookie season came around. From so young I was trained to love horrible for you foods. I craved sugar all the time.

I never learned that if I ate all that crap I would gain weight. I was a kid, I had a growing child's metabolism. Nobody ever taught me about nutrition or a balanced diet. Low and behold when I started getting older I started packing on the pounds. My mom always told me that I was supposed to put on weight before I grew so obviously I listened to my mom.

But by the time I was 16 years old I was done growing. I was saved at this point in my life because of high school sports. However, my junior and senior year I moved to Arizona and did not participate in any sports or groups. I got a job at a local movie theater where popcorn and soda pop was free to employees. Jack in the Box was right across the street and my school sold Arby's sandwiches during lunch. I ate anything that tasted good and I ate a lot of it.

Then my weight started skyrocketing and I was freaking out. I couldn't fit in my clothes and I had to ask for a new work uniform. So then I would just not eat. No breakfast, no lunch. Finally when I was so hungry I would eat at dinner and when nobody was watching I would stuff my face with anything I could think of. Because I wasn't eating during the day my weight stayed the same, I was still overweight but I was not gaining anymore. I went on like this for a very long time.

In college I started to study nutrition. It was fascinating and I changed my habits completely. I became a Vegan and started learning what was good and what was bad. I still had those tendencies. I would still think about food ALL THE TIME. When I was having a bad day or school was getting too stressful, I would eat in secret. I would eat so much that my stomach would ache. I did get in to long distance running and my calorie burn still managed to outdo my calorie intake so I lost a lot of weight. I even started this blog at this time in my life. I was so much better than I was before but I still had issues.

But then tragedy struck. My husband, the man I was with since I was a freshman in high school was cheating on me. A divorce came and I was an emotional basket case. Of course, us breaking up was inevitable. Our whole relationship when in arguments he would tell me how fat I was. I remember vividly him grabbing my thigh screaming, "Do you think this is attractive?" I would run more to try to get rid of the pain being caused to me. Eventually I was down to 115 pounds but that was still not good enough. I didn't think about it while I was with him but the emotional baggage that I carry around with me from incidents like that will never go away.

When I moved in with my family I tried to make the appearance of happiness. Slowly but surely, in bits and pieces I was finding happiness. But I was still hurt and broken. I ate to fill the void that was in me. I went from being 120 pounds to 155 pounds within a year.

I reverted back to my habits of not letting anyone see me eat and then when I was alone eating to the point of pain. I remember stopping at a gas station once on my way home buying 3 doughnuts, 1 king sized container of Reese's Peanut Butter cups, a big bag of chips, a large soda, and some Skittles. I ate it all. And I hid any evidence I could. Occurrences like this happened repeatedly and I was so ashamed. I would, just like back in high school, cry after I was finished, hating myself for what I had just let myself do.

It wasn't until about November of 2012 that I truly realized that something had to change. I was in a good spot in my life, I had met a wonderful guy, I was looking for a new job, and I was finally getting over all the pain that my Ex had caused me.

I am truly trying to live a clean and healthy lifestyle now. I do fall back sometimes though and I still think about food constantly. I am making sure to eat throughout the day so I am not binging at night. I do make sure not to deny myself foods that I am craving so I don't fall back in to my old patterns. I am not perfect and I never will be, but I can constantly keep trying to better myself :)

Getting sick?! Noooooo!!!

I woke up this morning and my throat was on fire... Gross. Yucky. Ewww! Obviously I didn't go running like I had planned but I hope I feel well enough to go after work. I took extreme measures to get rid of this nastiness. Tea, Naked Juice, mandarins, and Burt's Bees throat drops. I am determined to not be sick all week!

Doughnuts, cookies, and cake.

So working in a corporate office is pretty hard when it comes to food. Every day I feel like there is some sort of sugary treat in the break rooms or someone is wanting to go out to eat.
The worse part of it all is pressure. I feel like people are constantly judging you for not partaking in their desserts. I was walking in to the kitchen yesterday afternoon to make some more tea for myself and a bunch of people were eating cake and trying to get me to eat a piece. I politely declined and they kept saying that it was carrot cake so it can't be that bad for you. Yes it is bad. Very bad. Finally I ended up fibbing and said I gave up sweets for Lent... I wish it was Lent all year long cause that excuse is the best.
I just hate how people don't respect someone's choice to be healthy.
Neal and I are going on vacation to South Padre Island, TX in 51 days so it is time to eat ourselves in to awesome shape before we hit the beach!! Then just over a month after that we are heading to San Diego, CA for the Rock n' Roll Half Marathon. So I officially have no room to be unhealthy!!!